Old fogies

Note: Membership to this group is involuntary

Due to lack of sufficient evidence or overwhelming abundance of such and or by any stretches of imagination, this page is presented as is and continues to be permanent work in progress based on suspicions, videos, rumors, pictures, old wives tales, conversations, conspiracy, hearsay and or physical evidence and is not to be considered an official or in all ways unofficial document in regards to the fogies proving or disproving their existence.

It is rumored that there is an official unofficial mythical broken apart semi hyper active inline skating sub group of the Toronto bladers, with unofficial skaters, officially refereed as the "old fogies" who skate the streets and trails of Toronto unbeknownst to each other while looking over the shoulder wondering if they will spot or get spotted by their other old fogey.

Rumors

First rule of design, quality and repair is if you want to do it right, you gotta do it yourself

• As far as it is known, the rumor started in mid 2021 but conspiracy theorists claim that the fogies were already infiltrated in the group in 2019.

• Some well founded and well established conjecture, points out, that the first old fogey known to skate with the group was caught on video in 2020, making that video the only evidence of such and unique appearance ever among the group. Scientists claim that the video is fake.

• The skater known or suspected to have used the term old fogies for the first time mid 2021, is suspected to be an old fogey but conspiracy theorists claim that this could be misinformation since it was never mentioned in the mainstream and or went viral among the group.

• Currently no one knows the whereabouts of suspected, aforementioned old fogey but is is said that there is an overwhelming amount of video evidence from 2021 depicting suspected old fogey in action which no one wants to make a comment or knows what to say about.

• Old wives tales say that said suspected old fogey visits and goes around several online platforms used for inline skating to see what is going on and may have been spotted skating from a distance by some random skaters, but does not join in.

• Unbeknownst to everyone and reportedly found to be grumpy only 2 years later, a skater lurked silently around one platform in 2020. Researchers claim that grumpy skater is by all stretches of the imagination the oldest unofficial and unaware fogey of the group dating far back as much as 2015 or even 2013 which is the base foundation for the conspiracy claiming that the fogies were already part of the group in 2019.

• Unbeknownst grumpy fogey skater has been present and identified on several Toronto bladers skating videos, but due to identity uncertainties, no revelations will be done to protect the unbeknownst skater that has no clue that he is being talked about. Unbeknownst fogey has since 2021 tried to erase his skating footprint everywhere and sought exile from public eye.

Facts

• According to a self affirmed and secretly known curmudgeon fogey, both first conjectured old fogey and second suspected old fogey, never skated with each other but the unbeknownst grumpy old fogey skated with all 3, but not in the same event.

What we know so far

• The one conjectured old fogey is the oldest (2020)
• One suspected old fogey (2021)
• The one secretly known curmudgeon old fogey is a chronical case (????)
• The one reported unbeknownst grumpy fogey is the youngest (2019?~2020)
• Evidence seems to suggest that all 4 fogeys seem to know a bit too much for their own good
• Facts prove that all 4 fogeys have not skated together since 2021
• Not confirmed or denied, it is said that all 4 fogeys have more than one skate setup which include at least 4x80mm and 4x100mm

Although there doubts about who these 4 skaters are, the only skater that presumably can identify all of them, refuses to give any statements pleading the 5th amendment of the United States of America, in Canada.

How do I join the old fogies

• If you are an old fogey, membership is automatic and without your knowledge.
• You don't even know but you will be hand picked and listed here.

How to spot an old fogey

• With the exception of that one skater, no one else knows exactly who is the other old fogey, but some of us, silently suspect who might be such an old fogey and doubtful theories riddled with truthful merits have been randomly presented from time to time.
• Also from time to time, some of us are noticed not skating and simply standing and staring at another skater which is believed to be wondering if that skater is one of the old fogies, a sleeping cell old fogey a rising new old fogey or the next geezer on the block.

Bounties

Any information that can lead to the capture, identification and or whereabouts of an old fogey, will be rewarded with and in secrecy until the statue of limitations allows otherwise.

Other subgroups

• Titans
• Slalom
• Rollerbabes
• Swivel Council
• Golden wheels
• Usual suspects

Links

• Professional Curmudgeons of America